Anonymous discussion · Need to talk
My mother called again asking when I’m going to stop freelancing and think about marriage
My mother called again asking when I’m going to stop freelancing and think about marriage. She mentioned my cousin, same age, stable job, already settled. I knew this was coming but I still hate being measured against her. I’m not even saying my income is perfectly stable. It isn’t. This week especially I was already stressed trying to finish a client project, so hearing “what is your plan for the future?” felt like a personal attack even though she said she was only worried about my security. The irritating part is that marriage and a conventional job are being treated like proof that my choices are valid. I want her to take me seriously as a designer, but I also know I haven’t built enough consistency to make it easy for her. And then I feel guilty because she is worried because she cares. I haven’t told her about my relationship properly either. It’s long distance and not secure enough for me to bring it into another family discussion where suddenly everyone will want a timeline. Should I give her some clear answer just so she stops asking, or will that become another deadline they use against me?