Anonymous discussion · Need to talk
I am not sure if I am angry about the water bill or about everything which comes with it
I am not sure if I am angry about the water bill or about everything which comes with it. My wife sent the photo and said my mother had gone to the office alone to ask about it. I was in a break during work here in Dubai, already dealing with other things, and my first feeling was irritation. Not worry. Irritation. Then I felt ashamed because my mother should not have to go alone, and my wife has already been handling these matters in India while I give instructions from here. She told me later that she had managed it. Her voice was tired, not angry. I was relieved when she said that. This is the part I do not want to admit. For some hours I did not have to make another decision about the house. But her relief in solving it also means she had to take the work, and I know that. I sent less money this time because rent and other expenses are tight. I did not explain properly. Now she is asking why, and I have typed and deleted two replies. If I say I cannot keep sending money for every small issue, it sounds as if I am blaming her for asking. If I continue quietly adjusting, I will become resentful and she will not even know why. People think that because we are abroad, every problem can be solved by sending money or making one phone call. I do want to help. I want my mother to feel I am still dependable. But I do not want every message during my shift to become my responsibility before anyone asks if I have the money or strength that day. Maybe we need a fixed amount for minor repairs and a process for urgent things. I have avoided saying this because they may hear it as refusal. Is it normal to feel this kind of resentment when you are still willing to support the family? How do I explain limits to my wife without making her feel abandoned?