Anonymous discussion · Need to talk
Tonight my younger child waited for me to listen to a short reading practice
Tonight my younger child waited for me to listen to a short reading practice. I was checking notebooks and replying to a school message. Finally the child read to my husband and later said, very normally, “Amma is always busy when it is my turn.” I apologised, but I have made similar promises before. The reading notebook is still open on the sofa beside my corrected worksheets. Steel tumbler also untouched. I am a school teacher and I cannot simply stop working. This job is part of our income, and honestly it is also one thing that belongs to me. But every evening someone is disappointed. If I answer school messages, I am choosing work over children. If I leave them, tomorrow I am careless and not committed. My husband helped once and then the evening was finished for him. The unfinished work is still in my head. I am angry with everyone, including myself. I accepted extra responsibilities because I wanted to be dependable. Now I am crying more from anger than sadness. I love my children. I also miss finishing work, eating quietly and making one decision without planning around everyone. Does that make me a bad mother? How are other working parents managing this without giving up the work they need and also care about? I may leave the message until morning. Or answer it now. I really don’t know.