Anonymous discussion · Need to talk
I have to answer my girlfriend tomorrow about going with her to meet her parents, and I am still drafting messages and deleting them
I have to answer my girlfriend tomorrow about going with her to meet her parents, and I am still drafting messages and deleting them. This is not because she did something wrong. She has been patient and kind. She has asked me twice before about introducing her properly to my family, and I said placement season is not the right time. Today she said I always ask for time when things become serious. I did not have a proper answer to that. I do care about her, but I also cannot promise what happens after graduation. I may get a job in another city. My family will probably say I should focus on placements and may ask me to end it. The problem is I have used these things to avoid discussing even basic plans. I accept her support when I am stressed about placements, but when she asks for clarity I become vague. She wants to know if I will come during the holiday and whether I see this continuing. I am more upset that she asked for an answer now than I am certain about what answer I want. This feels bad to admit. Her family has their own timeline, but I keep feeling like their timeline has become my deadline, even though she has already waited. After the call she sent a normal goodnight message and reminded me to eat because I skipped dinner. I have reread it several times. There was no big fight that I can use as a reason to delay. My placement test tab is still open on the laptop also, which is probably making everything worse. Should I tell her honestly that I care about her but cannot promise a future yet? Or should I agree to meet her parents, knowing she may understand that as a commitment? Sometimes I feel the honest answer is that my hesitation itself is already an answer. Other times I think I am scared and may lose the best relationship I have had. I do not want friends telling me to simply commit or break up. I know it sounds simple from outside. What is the least unfair thing to say tomorrow?