Anonymous discussion · Overwhelmed
I am supposed to explain a difficult topic to my junior before evening duty, but the notes have been open for almost an hour and I am still on the same paragraph
I am supposed to explain a difficult topic to my junior before evening duty, but the notes have been open for almost an hour and I am still on the same paragraph. The steel tumbler of tea beside me is cold now. I keep checking my phone instead. I got a lower internal assessment mark today than I expected. Since then I have been counting all the hours I wasted, which is not helping. I feel tired, but I also think I am avoiding the moment when I realise I cannot do this as well as I thought. The irritating part is that I am annoyed with my junior for asking, although she has done nothing wrong. I agreed to help. I am also feeling jealous when I see other people progressing, then guilty for feeling jealous. At home I give short updates because I cannot explain that the timetable I told them about has already failed more than once. Is this normal academic burnout, or does it mean I need to make a more serious change? I can cancel honestly and study alone, or help her and continue pretending I am dependable. I genuinely do not know which is worse.