Anonymous discussion · Need to talk
I have agreed to send the money for the refrigerator, but I am still not settled about it
I have agreed to send the money for the refrigerator, but I am still not settled about it. The family WhatsApp group was discussing replacing the old one. My wife said the repairman had advised replacement and my son said the discount would finish today, so most of the money should be sent immediately. I was at work in Dubai and had not even opened the messages. During my break my wife called and said my mother had already agreed to pay the advance from her pension because nobody could reach me. I became angry first. Not worried. Angry. I thought, why did they decide this when I was unavailable? Then I felt ashamed because my mother should not be using her limited money for this, and my wife is already managing everything in India while I sit here giving approvals and transfers. I was standing near the staff lockers, rereading the photo on WhatsApp. My tea became cold. These are small things separately, but for several months every call seems to bring another repair, bill or urgent payment. I want them to consult me, but when they call I also feel, not again. Both things are true, I think. Last month there was a water-bill problem and my mother went alone to the office. I was irritated before I asked if she was all right. I still feel bad about that. I had suggested keeping a list of bigger expenses and discussing them in advance, but nobody followed it properly. I will probably send at least part of the amount, maybe all of it, partly just to end the uncomfortable conversation. That is the part I do not like admitting. Sending money does not mean I have decided it is affordable. It only means I do not want my mother to lose her pension money or my wife to feel unsupported. Is it normal to feel resentful about repeated family needs and still love them and feel responsible? How do people set a limit without everyone hearing it as refusal to help?