Anonymous discussion · Need to talk
I have to give my girlfriend an answer before tomorrow morning about going with her to meet her parents this weekend
I have to give my girlfriend an answer before tomorrow morning about going with her to meet her parents this weekend. I thought I would be able to say yes or no after thinking today, but I am still looking at the same message draft beside my tea and deleting everything. She has asked me twice earlier if I would introduce her to my family. First I said exams, then placement forms and tests started. Now she said she is tired of placement season being the reason for every serious conversation. She is not wrong. She has been patient and kind, which somehow makes this worse. I do care about her. But whenever she asks me to make the relationship more real, I start thinking about money, family questions, community, whether my mother will worry, and whether I can manage all of it while still depending on my family. Meeting her parents would also mean missing one college preparation session and spending money to travel. These are real problems, but I also know I may be hiding behind them because I am not sure I want to reach the family stage with her. I have typed “I am ready, I will come” and also “I am sorry, I am not ready for this.” Both feel false in different ways. If I say no, I may lose someone good because I was afraid. If I say yes, I may create expectations I cannot handle. Part of me is even waiting for her to get angry and end it, so I do not have to decide. That is not fair to her. Should I give a clear answer now even if it is an uncomfortable no? Or ask for a short, specific delay and explain that this is not only about placement? I cannot keep saying one more day.